"What if we just stay this way, Ben?" You mean, like, naked?" I asked not quite believing my luck."Sure, I will if you will."So, we agreed and we went to my room and she asked me if I ever watched any porn on my laptop."Yeah, I learned how to get around the blockers from a friend of mine. So, yeah, wanna watch some together?" I asked. "What kind do you want to see?" I don't know, I've never watched any before." Well, what are you curious about? What would you want to see people doing? See how it's done?" Um, I guess blow jobs? See how they're done?" she said as my heart skipped a beat at just the thought. So I typed in one of my favorite porn websites and chose the blow jobs category."Wow, fifteen hundred of them?" my sister asked surprised."No, that's fifteen hundred pages of them." Omigod, year's worth of them. How do you decide?" Well, look when you put the cursor over each one, see, you get a mini-show of each one. Just look while I go over them and if you see one you want to. Your mother did very well with her life, no thanks to me. I have never been so torn between guilt, shame, sorrow, pride, and joy in my life. Guilt, because I did such a God awful thing. Shame, because it was a truly horrible secret that I kept for so damn long! Sorrow, because I didn’t see any of this happen in time ... I missed so much of her life! I could have seen my grandchildren born! Pride, because Vicki turned out to be such a wonderful wife and mother, such a great woman! Joy, because I have such beautiful grandchildren, too!” their grandmother wept openly, her remorse undeniable.In spite of their lingering bitterness, Vicki’s five children found themselves embracing Grandma Jordan and holding her close. She mourned their mother, too, after all, so despite her terrible deeds, she must have loved Vicki in her own way. Cassie in particular held her head in her hands for several minutes, even wiping away the tears from her eyes. It was just something about how Jordan grieved.
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